A man and a woman
were conversing at a party. The woman said: "Lawyers are jerks." The
man responded: "I take offense to that remark." "Why," said
the woman. "Are you a lawyer?" "No," he responded: "I'm
a jerk."
Where does a vampire
learn how to suck blood? During his first year of Law School.
It was so cold last
winter that I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.
Two alligators are
sitting on the edge of a swamp. The small one turns to the big one and says,
"I don't understand how you can be so much bigger than I am. We're the same
age, we were the same size as kids... I just don't get it.
"Well," says the big alligator, "what have you been eating?"
Alligator "Lawyers, same as you," replies the small alligator.
"Hmm. Well, where do you catch 'em?"
"Down at that law firm on the edge of the swamp."
"Same here. Hmm. How do you catch 'em?"
"Well, I crawl under a BMW and wait for someone to unlock the door. Then I jump out, bite 'em, shake the crap out of 'em, and eat 'em!"
"Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem. See, by the time you get done shakin' the crap out of a lawyer, there's nothing left but lips and a briefcase..."
"Well," says the big alligator, "what have you been eating?"
Alligator "Lawyers, same as you," replies the small alligator.
"Hmm. Well, where do you catch 'em?"
"Down at that law firm on the edge of the swamp."
"Same here. Hmm. How do you catch 'em?"
"Well, I crawl under a BMW and wait for someone to unlock the door. Then I jump out, bite 'em, shake the crap out of 'em, and eat 'em!"
"Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem. See, by the time you get done shakin' the crap out of a lawyer, there's nothing left but lips and a briefcase..."
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